What can the story of DMX teach us about battling addiction?
On the morning of April 9, 2021, the world awoke to the news that rapper Earl Simmons, best known by his stage name DMX, had succumbed to complications from a heart attack he suffered the week prior. The heart attack was induced by a drug overdose that took place at his home in White Pains, New York on Good Friday, April 2. Despite any personal problems that I may have been afflicted with at the time, the death of DMX helped remind me to be grateful for life under all circumstances, because the fact that I woke up that morning means that I was given another chance that others were not so fortunate to receive. It also reminded me that life is fragile, and is not to be taken for granted.
DMX has been afflicted with substance abuse since he was 14. He recently told the story that an adult mentor he thought he could trust, spiked his ganja blunt with cocaine, and he smoked it without knowing what was in it, causing a lifelong addiction that ultimately led to his untimely death at the age of 50.
I'm not going to sit here like a hypocrite, and pretend like I'm a fan, and spread all that fake love now that he's passed, but as a black man who knows the struggle, and as one human being to another, I know how easy it is for one to fall into addiction whenever they're triggered.
His battles started at the age of 8 when his mother abandoned him at an orphanage. I think that was his first experience dealing with the betrayal of a loved one, then at 14, he was introduced to cocaine against his knowledge, or consent. He went through several legal, and financial troubles in his adult life that includes him serving jail time, a costly divorce from his wife, and child support payments, so much so that at the end of his life, his net worth was allegedly in the negatives, all while continuing to battle addiction. He once explained his love for dogs saying that dogs have never betrayed him, because they don't know how to lie. At the end of it all, it seems like he grew tired of constantly being chased by his demons, and just wanted to find relief from his afflictions. I suppose it's just about possible that he may have overdosed on purpose.
It's real easy to judge someone if you don't know what they're going through, but I assure you, narcissists generally don't develop issues with substance abuse because they get their high from tormenting empathic people. Their victims on the other hand, are the ones quite often left battling addictions caused by substance abuse, possibly for the rest of their lives. They do so in a bid to escape the traumas that were likely caused by the narcissist in most cases.
His mother may have been his first betrayer. According to one account, she took him to the orphanage under the false impression that they were going to go pick something up, but then she left without him, and he wasn't sure if he'd ever see her again. He started smoking weed to cope with that betrayal, but that was the gateway that led him on a path to being exposed to harder drugs. He could've had the support he needed, but it seems like he was just surrounded by a bunch of yes men who were only there to make money off him. It is very crucial to surround yourself with the right people on the road to becoming successful, people who will tell you the truth when you need to hear it, and support you on a path to recovery.
The story of DMX is not unique. It somewhat reminds me of the story of the Argentine football legend, Diego Maradona, who also passed away from a heart attack last November after years of battling substance abuse. In fact, we are all suppressing past trauma on some level, and we all have different ways of coping with those traumas, some coping methods are more dangerous than others. Earth is like a giant school campus, and we're all here on earth having a learning experience.
All of humanity is in a fallen state, and I do believe that the purpose of life is for one to conquer their vice at some point during their time on earth. We all have a vice that we're supposed to conquer, but the vice doesn't make us inherently bad. While battling your vice, you'll find that there are days when you'll fall short, and have a relapse, and that's ok. Apart of battling your vice is to rewire your brain to not crave the dopamine hit that comes from satisfying that vice. For some people, that dopamine hit is the only thing they know that's kept them happy throughout the years, they don't know any other source of happiness, and to expect them to quit cold turkey is like expecting the sun to still be up at 10:00 pm.
My advice to those who's had a relapse is to be patient with yourself, you can always try again. I don't think the creator will hold it against you, and you shouldn't hold it against yourself either. One day, you'll get it right. Life is about highs and lows, and you must be willing to compromise, after all, a man is just a man. My main advice to you is to control your vice, and don't let it get the better of you, this is true for all vices. I can't encourage anyone to practice a vice that will put their lives in danger, but some vices are a bit more tolerable than others depending on the nature of the vice.
Take tricking for example, a man might decide to do down a path of whoremongering because he believes it's safer than dating traditionally, or he believes it to be the most honest way to enjoy the abundance of polygyny without getting an innocent person's hopes up, and he's 100% correct about that. But then he must also remember to trick in moderation, or else he risks going totally bankrupt. If he has a porn habit, and he fails to view porn in moderation, he may miss out on plenty of chances to socially interact with a real girl, or it may affect his punctuality at work, and compromise his earning potential. Some will be more successful than others in conquering their vice, but each person should at least attempt to understand the nature of their vice by getting to the root cause of it. Developing a habit doesn't make you bad to begin with, not even trying to find a solution does. Just try, is all the universe asks!
If you choose not to attempt to conquer your vice, please keep in mind that you may be missing out on the blessing you would've unlocked as a reward for overcoming your vice, a reward that might have made it all the more worth your while for trying. Ask yourself if that's something you wish to forfeit. DMX never conquered his vice in this lifetime, which could only mean that his purpose is not yet complete. It looks like we'll be seeing him again real soon, just give it a few years. But until then, may he take his momentary rest.
